Bless me Father, for I have sinned...
It has been since my last confession.

I committed Adultery
I took God's name in vain.
I had sex with a minor.
I had sex with a miner.
I killed some people.
I killed some people under extenuating circumstances.
 Self Defense.
I was working for the Government.
It was an accident.
I wasSober.
Drunk.
I ran with scissors.
I spent milk money on beer.
I had bad thoughts about the tv anchorwoman.
I ate the last donut.
I didn't call back even though my message says I will.
I wished my boss would die suddenly.
I wanted my cousin.
I did anything to get my way.
I violated fruit.
I was vain and insincere.
I sought solace in the bottle.
               Pipe.
               Hypodermic.
I failed to mention my wife.
I fondled inappropriately.
I spoke out of malice.
I laughed both first and last.
I attempted to seduce the cashier.
I wore a woman's/man's undergarment.
I careened recklessly into the night.
I was consumed by thoughts of large breasts.
I tormented the cat.
I maligned my in-laws.
I padded my expense account.
               Bra.
I declined to offer assistance.
I enjoyed the sight of misery.
I didn't flush.
I dove into the shallow end.
I manipulated.
I failed to yield.
I paid cash for lascivious acts.
I was greedy and unthoughtful of others.
I gave psychoactive blood.
I laughed at the retarded.
I savored lustful images.
I bragged and thought much of myself.
I bore false witness.
I flamed my fellows.
I was slothful and gluttonous.
I was anxious and prone to mischief.
I pursued the wives of others.
I indulged in blatant disregard.
I copped a feel.
I borrowed with no thought of returning.
I bartered with the desperate.
I cornered markets.
I grudged my nurse.
I had seditious intentions.
I made late payments.
I colluded in subterfuge.
I drove away without notifying the car's owner.
I was purposeful in my neglect to prevent birth.
I traded my WIC stamps for Herb.
I trashed recyclables.
I did unto others.
I sought.
I responded in an untimely manner.
I boned my wife's/husband's sister/brother.
I took advantage of an underling.
I traded insults.
I defaced and otherwise rendered illegible.
I stuck gum in the parking meter.
I bred inwardly.
I was purposeful in my inattention.
I was woefully inadequate.
I turned tricks.
I broke wind.
I avenged.
I turned my cheeks.
I trod heavily.
I consorted with Satan.
I had bad thoughts and ideas.
I was eager in my pleasure.
I knowingly contracted.
I goaded.
I fell asleep inappropriately.
I peed in the Holy Water.